I started to feel quisy as I sat on a chair. Looking through my sketchbook. This foul mood coming. I had only 2 coffees and some shredded wheat. I just came back from North Wales and it was cold. I’ll finish this tomorrow.

I washed the pile of dishes late last night in preparation for my parents visit. I wasn’t sure if they would stay in hotel or my place. Today they messaged me and couldn’t come dou to sickness.

But why did I feel relief? Have I become so comfortable in my own home?

This is now filled with gulit.

I am currently in the Sherman Theatre 2 and half hours before my call time just to sit and play with my Switch. To get my head in the game. Preparing my head and body for scene runs. I do not mind scene runs. I become accustomed to just milling through the show. Then have a drink. But not this year. New casts require practicing.

What started as a mildly warm morning. Turned into a sweltering heat by 3pm. Maybe wearing these wool leggings wasn’t such a good idea. Today’s activity is going for a long stroll through Bute Park. Bumping into a familiar face doing a charity run. Finding a grey fluffy rabbit bag in Blue Banana and buying accessories for the bag. I don’t know why. And sitting in my favourite coffee spot.

I had set my alarm for 10 am even thou I didn’t go to sleep until 2 am. I woke up at 8 am. So as not to sleep at stupid o’clock time. I’m going to try and sleep at a reasonable time. First thing is to get all thoughts out of my head. I’m going to attempt a early wake up. Don’t know if it will work.

Going home, Three stops, heavy period, thin sanitary towels. This’ll be fun. I won’t use my towel this journey back. I’m a dignified women. I have pads. And we got three stops. These are opurtunitys for stocking up.

Reminiscing from the last time I was in France and it fragmented. Been to so many places touring that it’s all just a jumble.

Shit. Fuck. Dumb alarms haven’t rung and I’m running late for my pickup to France. Why the sitting fuck didn’t I leave my phone off silence. Its going to be OK. Where going to make it.

It’s that time again. The low energy, tube squeezing, carb craving, river stix, period hell. The visit from aunt flo. (Slightly over exaggerating) but that’s how it feels. But. Its just life. There are ways to manage it. I like to do things more positively and break the self pitying cycle. I bring aminition. Dark chocolate and red wine. Neither are good for my Slimming World targets. Its only for 7 days.

We eat to survive. We eat to be healthy. We eat to sustain us. Sometimes we have busy schedules and need to eat a lot. Sometimes we eat because we don’t know when the next meal is coming. Eating just for the hell of it. Is another thing. Constantly shoving food in your face just because you can. It puzzles me. Is it really because there still hungry? Do they do it for personal reasons? I understand if it’s for personal reasons. But I do not understand is why they just eat and eat because they want to. Food is plentiful. But do we need to eat it because its there.